The Clam City News
January 2024
We're Back!
And here we are for the third time as now 'Director' Larry Dennis brings us back to life to be the spokes-media for his Performing Arts Empire, Clam City Productions. And while we are perturbed that he chose the name of our fine city as the name of his production company, and we certainly don't expect this reincarnation to last any longer than the others, we are contractually obligated to only say nice things about CCP so, regardless of our feelings (a paycheck being a paycheck), the Clam City News is back.
This is our third time rising like a Phoenix (the bird, not the town) from the dustbin of a collapsed Evil Empire. The first time was in 1989 when Editor Larry Dennis suddenly ceased publishing the internationally recognized literary zine, EOTU, so he could go direct a theater play!
We were excited when he revived EOTU as an on-line publication, an 'e-zine', but then he shut it down again in 2004 to go direct a musical!
Photo by Jessica Johnson
Nothing much has changed
in Clam City during the years we were gone. Still only one street light, 2 mercantiles, a post office, and Billy Clark still sits on the bench in the park near the bus stop where twice a day the Greyhound from Berry Bay drops off tourists for their short stay in our town. Billy makes his living from the kindness of those strangers, offering them tours, running their errands, picking their pockets. And we guess in a way we all live off the kindness of those tourists since fishing, clamming, and logging have all gone to shit.
Another thing that remains the same is the EOTU Empire monolith of a building that lords itself over our quaint village. Dennis built it during the era of first zine. Seventeen stories tall, made of dark granite, just off Highway 2 near where Deer Creek Road turns west toward Buckford the building stands above the forest trees waving at us like a middle finger swaying in the breeze.
Director Dennis has renamed the building The Clam City Empire Building, as if he thought that would help.
Further down Highway 2, Leroy Henderson sold his farm to some developers out of Berry Bay and moved with his dogs and cows out west to live with his sister and her husband. The developers turned his farm into a series of five story apartment buildings so now the CC Empire Building isn't the only thing sticking up out of the trees. To many of us Clam City OR's (original residents) it feels as though our treasured town is being turned into a megalopolis like Berry Bay.
So...
Welcome to the Clam City News! We are delighted to once again be sharing the news and happenings from around the bay and from around the city of Clam City. We are contractually obligated to be delighted to promote the news of the Clam City Production company.
Most of the Clam City News staff have returned for this reincarnation of The Clam City News. Rebekka Twaintoing is still our Ace Reporter, Dexter Winthrop Drumain III our Accountant, Ricky is still janitor and Greta, our new receptionist, has become Larry's latest mistress.
Unfortunately, Ace Reporter Samuel Beckman has been hired away by API and has disappeared somewhere into the depths of Kuala Lumpur.
Our college intern, Angie Delford, graduated college and has a teen-age daughter of her own, Amelia Johnson, who is our new high-school intern.
Our Jungian trained Advice Columnist, Bonita Savage, is back. You can read her latest column here: Dear Bonita
And we will continue publishing our Lost and Found, as soon as someone loses something. [Ed. Note: The listings on the Lost and Found page are from our last issue, September 2004. Unfortunately, the software won't let us update the listings until someone reports losing or finding something. Please do not respond to the listings on the current Lost and Found page until we have new listings.]
We are contractually obligated to report that the latest Clam City movie Family Dinner, their h-48 2023 entry, was well received for it's tasteful take on cannibalism.
Coming up in Feb-March 2024 CCP is participating in the February Collaboration Project, in which they will be given a script, 4 actors, and 2 months to make a movie.
Clam City is also an Event Producer, along with X Marx the Spots Productions, of Boise's Premiere Red Carpet event, the Colossal Cinematic Showcase. The next Showcase is May 19, 2024.
There's probably more news going on in the city of Clam City but since we've been gone ten years and are just now trying to figure out where to plug in our computers and how do we get our desks down to our offices in the basement of the Clam City Empire Building we'll have to begin reporting tomorrow.
Plus, Ace Reporter Rebekka Twaintoing should be reporting back from her assignment in the Marianas on Tuesday, so we should be up and running full speed by next issue!
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